Hiatus

In an effort to streamline my life and concentrate on more creative pursuits, I’m putting this blog on an indefinite hiatus.

Unless Paris Hilton gets pregnant, in which case I just know I won’t be able to resist making snarky remarks.

Kate Hudson To Wed Owen Wilson

A year after his suicide attempt, Owen Wilson is all smiles now that Kate Hudson has agreed to marry him. The pair were linked in a much-publicized relationship following her divorce from Black Crowes singer, Chris Robinson.

Then Kate dumped Owen, purportedly due to his drug use and friendship with actor Steve Coogan. (Hudson is said to have banned Coogan from the home she shared with Wilson at the time.)

The pair have since reunited, and sources say that Kate is sporting a massive engagement ring received from Wilson in Miami last week. Their wedding is set for next year.

Engaged: Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds

After dating for over a year, Scarlett Johansson (23) and Ryan Reynolds (31) announced their engagement today. Reynolds had previously been engaged to Alannis Morisette, with whom he split shortly before he began dating Johansson.

Dennis Rodman Arrested Again For Hitting A Woman

Former professional basketball player and lifelong professional freak Dennis Rodman was arrested. Again. For assaulting a woman. Again.

Sources at the LAPD say Dennis Rodman was arrested after hitting a woman and causing her injuries on her arms. He was released on $50,000 bail.

Rodman was previously arrested in 2003 for striking his then-fiancee in the mouth, injuring her lip.

Jose Canseco Hit By Housing Foreclosure

Baseball star Jose Canseco admitted yesterday that he’s allowed his home to go into foreclosure after deciding it “didn’t make financial sense” to continue making payments on his $2.5 million mortgage.

Although Canseco is no longer living in the 7,300 sq. foot home in Encino, he points out that he does options whereas many people facing foreclosures these days do not. As far as the cause of his financial straits, the player says most of the money he made during his baseball career went to paying for his divorces.

Idol’s Jason Castro Wants To Go Home?

American Idol’s Jason Castro says he is ready to go home, even though fans voted non-stop crier Brooke White off the show. (Given the amount of Kleenex that girl must go through each week, we feel this was an environmentally friendly decision.)

Maybe it had to do with Paula Abdul’s obvious confusion on Tuesday which prompted her to critique Jason’s second song… even though he’d not yet sung it. (Sources claim to have seen Abdul acting “bubbly” after drinking at least one martini just hours before the show’s taping, but Abdul denies being drunk. As martini afficionados ourselves, we’re rather certain the absence of 4-letter words during her critique of Castro is proof enough of her sobriety and suspect, instead, she was stoned on Valium.)

Or maybe it’s due to Castro’s bad meeting with Neil Diamond — during “Neil Diamond Week” on Idol — when Castro hadn’t bothered to learn his lyrics before showing up for his mentoring session with the legendary songwriter.

In fact, as late as Monday afternoon Castro still hadn’t bothered to practice, telling an Entertainment Weekly reporter “What happens happens. I’ll sing and if people like it, they like it. And if they don’t, they don’t. I’m kind of ready to go home.”

Castro says the whole experience is a bit “overwhelming” for him. Why, just last week fans sent balloon bouquets after learning that Castro was sick. “That’s cool, but that’s just weird,” he said of the girls who’d organized the “get well” delivery.

Confirmed: Mariah Carey Married

Mariah Carey has confirmed two things we’d all been suspecting. Yes, she IS married. Mariah wed her boyfriend of one month, Nick Cannon, in a secret ceremony at her home in the Bahamas. (Cannon is 11 years younger than the chipmunk-cheeked diva.)

Also, she IS an idiot for not getting a prenup. (”There was no time,” one source says.)

Did we mention that Mariah Carey (whose net worth is $225 million) only dated the much-younger Cannon (previously linked with 20-somethings Christina Milian and Kim Kardashian) for one month?

We’ve had head colds that lasted longer than that!

Idol: Seacreast OUT?

With American Idol’s ratings plummeting this season, producers are scrambling to find somewhere to place the blame besides themselves.

No, it couldn’t be that viewers — who’d always thought of the competition as one among amateurs — were jaded to learn that three of those who made it into the Top 10 had professional experience.

And it couldn’t be Paula’s increasingly bizarre antics, like last Tuesday’s critique of Jason’s second song… before he’d even performed it. (If that doesn’t confirm the show’s over-staged, what does?)

It must be Ryan Seacrest, they’ve apparently decided. Insiders say Seacrest isn’t too worried since he’s been putting so much work into marketing himself in a variety of other areas, including his radio and TV shows.

Because, you know, it couldn’t be that Idol’s teeny-bopper main fan base just aren’t into Neil Diamond and Dolly Parton songs.

Mel Gibson Returning To Big Screen

After his drunken, anti-Semitic tirade, Mel Gibson looked like he’d never work in Tinsel Town again. But he’s baaaack, and ironically enough this time he’s playing a cop in Edge of Darkness.

The film is an adaptation of a 1985 BBC mini-series and will have the same director, Martin Campbell, whose last project was Casino Royale.

Gibson will be playing a straight-laced cop who investigates his daughter’s murder, uncovering systemic police corruption in the process.

CSI’s Dourdan Busted For Drugs (Lots!)

CSI star Gary Dourdan was arrested early Monday morning when a Palm Springs police officer found him asleep in his car, which parked on the wrong side of the road.

Dourdan was found to be in possession of a veritable pharmacy, including cocaine, heroin, ecstasy and prescription pills. Officers described him as “disoriented”… although the car on the wrong side of the road might have been their first clue.

Rumors had recently surrounded Dourdan’s contract with CSI, which is set to expire next month. Some claim he’s off the show, although his rep won’t confirm or deny it.