Last weekend, I had the misfortune of overhearing a conversation about blogging. By “misfortune” I mean, really, that I had no choice but hearing it since the conversation was held at full volume one table away from mine at the only cafe offering free outdoor Wi-Fi — an absolute essential for caffeine-addicted smokers like me.

Not surprisingly, the conversation started with both “ladies” (and, yes, I use those quotations intentionally) coughing like they had furballs the instant I lit up. My middle-finger gesture toward the “Smoking Section” sign — made without looking away from my keyboard — shut them up. For a while, at least.

They were there for the Wi-Fi and caffeine, too, it quickly became apparent. After their coughing spells miraculously subsided, both reached into their bags and produced laptops adorned with kitty and bunny stickers. Within moments it also became obvious they were each cruising through their blogrolls. I know this because they continued talking at full volume as they traded comments and criticism over every little thing they read. Did I mention they were loud about it, too?

Eventually, the larger of the two — which is to say the one that had 50 lbs. on the other, who herself had a good 50 lbs. on me — said she was no longer going to read so-and-so’s blog. I didn’t catch the name. Between the stickers on their laptops and the Disney characters on their sweatshirts (and I don’t mean the cool retro kind like Mickey), I was certain I had little in common with either “lady”.

“Oh, I never read her anymore,” the other one replied. “I found out she was making up some of the stuff she writes about, and I decided I just couldn’t trust her ever again.”

For five full minutes the two of them waxed ineloquent about how bloggers have a “pact” with their audience which requires full and complete honesty, at all times. “Transparency,” one of them called it. “An obligation,” the other one said it was.

I just about puked up my latte right then and there. After six years of blogging (as of next month), I’m still unaware of any compact signed between blogger and blog-reader that requires “full honesty”. Not that I don’t give it, mind you — but I wouldn’t feel in the least bit bad about coloring the truth if I got a good, entertaining entry out of it. Nor should anyone else.

And really, when you think about it, how would either of those women know if someone was shading the truth when they blogged? And if the blogger isn’t 100% honest, who’s harmed by it? Really?

After thinking about it for a few minutes, I realized that perhaps I should give more thought to their total honesty thing. So I chugged down the last bitter dregs of my latte, snubbed out my cigarette, and packed up my laptop. Then, as I was leaving, I dropped two copies of my blogging business card on their table and invited them to visit this site any time.

So, “Lady #1″ in the Anastasia sweatshirt: yes, it does make you look fat, but the sweatshirt shouldn’t bear all of the blame. And for more honesty: your hairstyle went out in the 80s.

“Lady #2″ with the tiny Winnie the Pooh above her right breast: are you sure you want to call peoples’ visual attention at how low your chest hangs? Oh, and please stop plucking your eyebrows until they look like thin little half-circles over your baggy eyes. You look perpetually surprised. And stupid.

There, how’s THAT for 100% honesty blogging?

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