Financial Recession Poses A Hairy Problem
Over the weekend, I got together with three of my girlfriends for some female bonding time. With the Super Bowl coming up, we figured this would be our last chance for several days to engage in a booze-fueled estrogenfest and, more importantly, we all wanted time away from home.
Having exhausted our two favorite topics to complain about by the time the third round of drinks arrived, the conversation turned to the economy. Specifically: the financial sacrifices we’re making because our husband and kids just don’t get it. (Okay, maybe we weren’t done bitching about our two favorite topics entirely.)
The scholar among us, whom we call Egghead, said she’s borrowing books from the library instead of spending her Saturday mornings browsing the racks at Barnes and Noble. My friend Ritzy, who loves her some designer-labels, has taken to shopping at consignment stores. A longtime fast food addict, my friend Speedy Mac is learning to cook dinners at home and brown bag her lunch the next day. And me? Well, I switched to a cheaper brand of vodka and have been saving electricity by not cleaning house very often.
After a pause while the waitress sat down a sinfully massive plate of nachos, Ritzy offhandedly remarked that she’s also cut back on visits to her salon. Instead of weekly manicures she’s ditched the acrylic tips in favor of the natural look, and she’d found that she can go 6 weeks between coloring sessions if she poofs her hair up a bit. We all nodded our own faded heads in sympathy as, one by one, we hurried to hide our similarly un-manicured hands.
By that time, the third martini must have hit me, because I chirped: “And, damn it, I miss my bikini waxes, too!”
“God yes,” Egghead agreed. “I’m going through razor blades like you wouldn’t believe.”
“Razor blades?” Speedy Mac laughed. “I tried Nair. The smell just about killed me!”
Ritzy slammed the rest of her drink and signaled for another round before saying, “Let me tell you, girls. Do NOT try giving yourself a Brazilian wax at home. Just trust me.”
We all grew quiet as the waitress set our drinks in front of us, unwilling to meet each others’ gaze. After two long years of regular booze-and-bitch sessions, we’d thought we had discussed just about every female topic under the sun. But that night we’d discovered a new one, and it wasn’t pretty.
Seriously, how do you look your girlfriends straight in the face after a conversation like that?
HEY YOU! Support this site, dammit. Visit my sponsors!
Share on Twitter
Red has me use Nads on her. Good stuff, non-toxic, smells okay, and it works really really well….although I have to admit there is something a bit weird about being asked to spread sticky goo on somebody, put down a cloth strip, and then rip the hair out by the roots.
She says I’m good at it. Not that I’m offering to help.
You laugh and have another drink!
If that kind of topic makes you uncomfortable I would have to very carefully watch what I say around you. I am the Queen of TMI, and have converted my closest friends as Ladies-in-Waiting – they are still in training. Conversations like that only tend to get more loud and open, regardless of who is around.
@Bridget – It’s not, really, but at some point it dawned on me that the 4 of us were sitting there thinking about each other’s crotches. And THAT was strange.
@Chelle – Did just that.
@WG – What, and give me even more reasons to curse VH?
I find it weird…but she says I’m good enough at it that it doesn’t really hurt. I find thinking about it hurts, so….
Brought back a memory. Several years ago, I tried the Brazilian at home thing. One piece of advice, don’t attempt this with a dozing cat in the bathroom. (I truly have no privacy.) When dozing, the RIIIIIP tends to alarm them. A cat can completely destroy a tidy bathroom in .0075 seconds if sufficiently startled. And it’s very difficult to curse the pain and laugh hysterically at the cat simultaneously.
Oh, man. I can’t stop chuckling over the image of a cat tearing through the bathroom spilling hot wax everywhere.
There’s a joke in there, but I’m not sufficiently caffeinated to make it.
That exchange reminded me of the conversations the “women of the families” would make while playing cards and drinking. This happened once a month, and the house of such parties rotated for each card night.
Really. For them, that exchange would have been the warm-up session. And if you think that is awkward with friends, all these women were related. Usually with the hubbies hanging around doing their own thing while the ladies played. I know, I sat in on several of them growing up.
But for fun, in a couple months, when everyone has forgotten about it, you can do a “Karate Kid” imitation of “Wax on, Wax off.” Just keep a straight face while doing it.
LOL. I’m going to have to remember that one, Wichi Dude!